Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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