how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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