why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
