I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
