i was rollin on her like bob the builder
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
