just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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