Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
