If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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