guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
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