Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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