Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
