Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
