Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
