I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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