I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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