i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize