You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I have tasted many bathrooms
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
