i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Drunk is not a location!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize