oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
