she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
