My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
