Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
