When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
