can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
