i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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