'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
They should really pass out barf bags in church
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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