she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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