I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
How external is "for external use only"?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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