New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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