Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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