all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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