Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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