it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
