drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize