drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
