ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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