Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize