Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
last night I used snow as a chaser
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
