So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
