If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
