So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
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the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
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He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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