You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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