WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
