I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
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It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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