I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize