the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
