You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
