She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
