She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
