Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
