At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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