seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize
