I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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