Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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