Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
