dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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