Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
